My first week at Microsoft is just about over. This is a pretty whack deal. I haven't worked for anybody but me for most of the last 10 years and, well, that's just not the case anymore. The Chocolate Factory is huge, and the Oompa Loompa's are all geniuses from Ivy League schools who are all staring at me, wondering HTF I got hired.
My orientation was much like Scott's and Phil's - surrounded by brilliant people in large numbers. Two things really struck out in my mind, however, and it was these quotes:
- "Every day (on average), 9 Microsoft employees have a baby"
- "Microsoft makes 1 Billion US dollars in revenue every day"
The thing is - well there is no thing. This place is a Chocolate Freak Show of smart, maniacal wonderful crazy Oompa Loompa people who absolutely love their job. No, REALLY.
I'm a bit of a skeptic. Actually I'm a big @##hole - I never believe anyone when they tell me "where their heart's at" cause we're all big @##holes when it comes down to it right :)? Don't tell me about your "heart of hearts"... I've done there, been that. When it comes down to it, you'll thump me for the next wave.
But Charlie Don't Surf - he runs the Chocolate Factory, and the Oompa Loompa's love it. No REALLY.
This really happened, just 7 hours ago: ScottGu cornered me today (lovely to have THAT happen on my second day) and in the course of talking to me, he forgot that he put sugar in his coffee, twice. He put so much sugar in his coffee that it actually overflowed on the floor. He never stopped talking - he just wiped it up. And then added more sugar.
I had lunch with John Lam (Mr. Iron Ruby) two days ago -someone who has brain power on a logarithmic scale compared to my Cabbage Patch Cortex. I can't believe how polite the guy was. It was clear he had "that look" that people get when talking to a pre-schooler. Or their shoes. Or maybe a cockroach (before they throw a book across the room at it). All I could do was smile (like a cockroach) and hope he didn't leave and stick me with the bill (then squash me under foot).
This is Oz. It's Crazy Town. I'm sure that I'm the best Bull#@$$er on the planet because I shouldn't be working here.
Before you think I'm being all pie-eyed and in love with my job - please know that I'm terrified. All I ask is to imagine is:
You're working along, listening to American Idiot and coding up a storm (or reading my blog) and a knock comes on your office door. It's ScottGu: "hey you got a minute?". Umm... sure.
"So I was thinking about this thing"... and he starts to pace. You try to listen. He keeps talking. It gets faster and faster, and you think to yourself "Is he going to fire me?". He spills coffee, people are hanging outside his door - 4 conversations waiting to happen, wondering WTF this new dude is doing here...
So there it is: my first week on the job. The best way I can sum it up:
This aint no party
This aint no disco
This aint no foolin around
I'm stoked. I'm grateful. I'm scared. I'm ecstatic. Please, keep me honest and never let me forget how this all started.
